Cookout
by Nikkster
Summary: In a time of peace, Renesmee Black tells her story, eighteen years later. Canon pairings. OCxOC, SethXoc. Does not follow my 2nd Generation/Forkwarts timeline.
1. Who Do You Think You Are?

The woman's face was pale, but a natural blush was in her cheeks. Her hair was long, thick, curly and bronze colored. It was down to her waist and down. Her eyes were a strange golden brown. She was thin, muscular and shapely. She looked about twenty-seven or eight. I scowled. She definitely didn't look human, what with her high cheekbones and grace. She could break Miss America's heart, as well as ballerinas everywhere. I had no idea why she was at this cookout, meant for wolves and imprints.

"Mel, please. All will be explained in time," Levi whispered in my ear. I surprised him by turning my face and kissing him swiftly. He chuckled and responded, "All right, enough of that. Let's hear what she has to say." I scowled then pouted angrily. The woman began to talk.

"Leah," she said calmly to the woman listening to her iPod, "I'd like you to hear this."

Leah scowled, like me as she pressed the pause/play button and turned it off. "It's not like I wasn't there for most of it."

"Only my part. And my part has to do with my parents' part, of which you weren't there for."

Leah's scowl got deeper. "Well, Jake here had some choice thoughts and feelings for your parents. Both of them."

The other woman laughed with many others. The man sitting next to Leah squirmed in his seat and blushed. "Yeah, Jake, what is it with you and Cullen women?"

"Embry, you have problems!" the bronze-haired woman called out. "For surely my mother was not born a Cullen!"

"Poor Uncle Jake," Levi whispered in my ear. I nearly jumped out of my seat.

"That's your Uncle Jacob?" I responded as Embry replied.

"Yeah, but she belonged to your dad once she met him!" Embry called back to the woman. "See! I filled up your hole in my logic!"

Among laughs, the woman raised her eyebrows. "Embry, did I ever belong to a Cullen?"

Embry retorted, "Before you met Jake! Duh!"

The woman laughed, and so did Levi's uncle. "Reality check! I was barely an hour old."

Embry tried to come up with a retort, but he couldn't. It was only now that I realized the musical quality of the woman's voice.

"Now enough of this. It is time for my story," said the woman.

Anger bubbled up and exploded in my stomach. "Who do you think you are? Why are you even here? This is just a cookout for regular wolves and their regular imprints!" I refrained from saying that I had been imprinted on two days ago, when I came to visit my cousins, the Atearas and I didn't know most of the wolves and their soulmates. "You don't belong here! You're not even human!"

Everybody went silent. Some of the people's faces displayed anger, including the mutilated woman named Emily and her husband. The man called Jacob was visibly shaking, trying to get in control of himself. Leah, also, was having trouble with her control. However, the gorgeous bronze-haired woman's face displayed no emotion. Instead, she walked over to Jacob and placed her hand on his cheek. It was so pale against his brown skin. She kept her hand there until Jacob had stopped shaking and instead looking up at her with calm eyes, obviously hiding some other emotion. The woman blushed, and pulled her hand away.

She turned to Leah, who was pretending to gag. She put her hand on Leah's and after a few seconds, Leah laughed. "That was priceless!" The tension in the circle relaxed, but faces still displayed anger. Emily was starting to shake with suppressed anger. A tiny smile played about the corners of the woman. She walked over to Emily and placed her pale hand on Emily's darker. After a few seconds, Emily was smiling up at the woman. The woman smiled a real smile and then walked back into the middle of the circle. She faced me.

"Who am I?" Her hands were out on either side of her, palms up. "On one hand, I am Esme," her hand lifted up slightly, "And on the other I am Bella," the other hand raised, "So together," the two hands flew at each other and joined, fingertip to fingertip, "I am Reneesme."

Reneesme's answer to my first insulting question aroused whistles, murmurs, hisses, and several other responses from the the other wolves and some of their imprints and children.

Reneesme waited for silence, and then continued. I was slightly afraid of her now. "I am here for the exact same reason as you, Melinda. Except for one difference. As you said, I am not normal. None of us are, if you put it that way. But, I more so than others."

"Conceited much?" I muttered.

Reneesme's face blanched and she seemed to be remembering. Jacob got up from his chair and walked over to her. Jacob's hand found its way into Reneesme's and he tensed up also. He reached up and tucked a curl of Reneesme's hair and tucked it behind her ear. He kissed her on the cheek swiftly and sat back down. Reneesme returned to the present.

I snickered quietly.

Leah took this chance to jump in and protect this woman, this Reneesme. "You hear that, everybody? I'm normal! Get that! Leah Clearwater, normal! I'd never see the day!"

Wolves all around the circle laughed, including Levi. I scowled. "What's so funny about it, Leah? You're just a normal imprint, like me!"

Everybody exploded into heavy laughter, and I mean everybody. Levi shook with it, Reneesme and Jacob as well. But no one laughed harder than Leah herself. I think there were tears on her face.

"Imprint!" she managed to sputter through her laughter. "Me! An imprint!" Leah was barely able to shape the words as she said, "I'm not an imprint, I'm a wolf! Simple girl!"

I felt dissed. "Oh."

Reneesme nodded, a crooked grin came across her face, looking as if she were trying not to laugh. "And you know, you are remarkably observant for a normal human."

Rage boiled up in me again. "Then what are you?"

Her grin widened. "Be patient, Melina, all will be explained in time."

I have to say, I really couldn't argue with that.


	2. Mike Newton, Second Generation

"Heeeeeeey, a party without us? We feel so excluded! Nesme! Emily! How could you?" A pretty woman and her tall, muscular husband by my guess walked into the middle of the circle. It was the woman who was talking. When she kissed Reneesme on the cheek, I noticed how much Jacob looked like her. Levi was fidgeting under me. I looked up at him.

"Mels, can you get off for a sec?" He asked.

I put my arms around his neck and put my cheek against his chest. "Noooo!" I moaned. "Don't leave me!"

Jacob raised his eyebrow. "Honestly, Melinda, you're worse than Bella was!" The man in the circle grinned and Levi mirrored it, exactly. I got up and dusted my pants off. Levi was on his feet in a split second, and he was walking over to the couple. The woman turned from Reneesme and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Levi couldn't stop grinning.

Said the man, "So you imprinted." It was a statement, not a question, and I felt rather put down.

Levi responded, "I called you once I finished explaining, Dad. It's not like it's breaking news."

I was barely recovering from the shock as the woman replied, "So? To us it is!" as she broke apart from her son.

"Moooom! Stop being so motherish! It's embarassing!" Levi moaned. I giggled and Reneesme, Leah and many others didn't attempt to hide their smiles.

Then a baby cried. In an instant, Emily had the baby in her hands, held up. Levi's mother took him and handed him to Reneesme, who cooed, "It's alright, Ephraim. Mama's here." She held the baby close to her and rocked on her feet. My mouth was open and Levi reached out and closed it. There was an amused look on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your parents, Levi?" I asked.

Levi turned crimson. The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Levi's father had a very amused look on his face. "Melinda, this is my mom Rachel, and my dad Paul. Mom, Dad, this is Melinda."

Rachel reached out to shake my hand, and Paul muttered, "And here is Bella, third generation." Levi's mouth flew open, enraged and embarassed, face bright red. Leah was laughing and Reneesme pretended not to hear, becoming overly absorbed in her son. Her cheeks were slightly red. Jacob, however, was bright red, and his mouth was closed in a set line, eyes staring at the ground. I was utterly confused. These wolves are crazy, I decided, but I loved Levi anyway.

Leah decided to poke some fun and said, "Then who am I?"

Paul replied, "Alice, second generation." This evoked more blushing on Reneesme and Jacob's part.

Emily called out, "And me?"

Rachel swiveled around to face her as she said, "Esme, second generation."

Sam pointed at himself and Jacob yelled, "Carlisle, second generation."

Leah was laughing. "Who's Jacob, second generation?" Jacob's mouth flew open and he turned redder.

Reneesme decided to join the party as she said, "Nahuel!"

Leah's eyes widened. Sam yelled, "No! Mike Newton, second generation! Jake doesn't have a successor! You never had a choice!"

Reneesme laughed. "Who woulda thought? Hey! Who's Billy?"

Everybody was thinking. I had no idea what they were talking about. Emily suddenly yelled, "Carlisle, third generation!"

Jacob yelled back, "Why third?"

"Because I'm second!" Sam yelled.

Reneesme decided to solve another one and said, "Hey Paul! Guess who you are! Carlisle! Fourth generation!"

I, confused beyond belief, yelled, "Who the hell is Bella? Alice? Esme? Carlisle? MIKE NEWTON??"

They all turned to look at me, and Reneesme said, "Um, well, it's sort of a joke with us that, well, you'll see when I get the chance to finally tell my story! And I'm the only successor of two people! Yay me!"

Paul's eyebrows raised, and he muttered, "Stupid leech-lovers. You can never clean up their messes."

Everybody went death quiet. I remembered the stories about the Cold Ones, and I realized what Reneesme was. She did not look like a full vampire, but she did not look like a full human either. She was half vampire, half human. And I had a small problem with that, and so did Paul, I realized.

Reneesme put on a super-sweet smile, and it was so obviously a fake one. She walked to Jacob, handed Ephraim to him, even though he was shaking with anger again, and walked back to face Paul. Levi backed away towards me, and took me out of the circle where I was standing. He sat down again and pulled me into his lap. Rachel backed out as well to sit near Emily and Sam. Only Reneesme and Paul were in the circle.

Reneesme took a step away from Paul and formed a fist with her thrown back right arm. Paul gulped. Reneesme hefted her fist, and then swung, hitting Paul square in the jaw. Paul yelped loudly, and Reneesme smirked.

Jacob stood up and still holding his son, he said, "And there is the famous Bella punch, second generation!"

Reneesme giggled and said, "But **I** can break his jaw, and I don't need you to do it for me."

Rachel shrieked and then said, "Edward Cullen! Second generation! Paul! Steal phone!"

Paul, one hand on his broken jaw, leaped and grabbed the cell phone from the little table next to Jacob's seat. He pressed a few buttons, and pressed the phone to his ear. Jacob and Reneesme didn't notice until Paul said, "No, it's Paul." We all laughed, wondering who he was calling.

"We know it's you-" said Reneesme and Jacob as they looked up. Reneesme turned bright red, and her eyes turned darker, very angry. Jacob also was bright red, and he lunged at Paul, who turned, and kept the phone out of Jacob's reach as Jacob fell to the ground. Paul turned back, smiling, and put his foot on Jacob's chest.

"Why am I calling you, of all people? Well, Cullen," here Reneesme shrieked, "We've been talking about lots of different stuff. Is Bella there? Why can't I talk to you? Well, I just wanted to tell Bella that her daughter can punch a shapeshifter in the jaw and break it, but she can't. Yeah, I know. And she also referenced you in a very, very subtle way. And do you know that Mike Newton has a successor? No, Jacob is not available. What do I mean by successor? Well, Reneesme," Here Ephraim was given to Emily and Reneesme lunged. I still had no idea what was going on, "Reneesme is Esme, third generation, Bella second. And guess what? You're Charlie, second generation! Okay, here's Jacob."

"Hi, Edward. Me? I don't have successor, Nessie never had a choice. Well, who can resist that level of admiration and commitment? Yes, you've known that for years, Edward. It's not exactly breaking news. Oh yeah. That. Think about it. If Reneesme's Bella, second generation, it only makes sense-. Yes, it is weird, but according to Paul and the rest of the packs, I'm in the exact same predicament. Okay, I'll put your daughter on."

"Hi, Dad. Oh, Mom. Just a bonfire. No, Billy isn't here. He went to sleep a while ago, he can't take as much anymore. Oh, Ephraim is fine. It is weird that a eighteen year old is a grandma, don't you think? Well, if her daughter is older than her, it does make sense. Love you too. Leah? Alice, second generation. Love to all! Mwa." Reneesme flipped the phone closed. She folded her arms across her chest as she stared at Paul. Jacob did too.

Paul gulped.


	3. Could Someone Tell Me Who Rosalie Is?

Emily decided to come to Paul's rescue and blurted out, "Leah's also Rosalie, second generation."

This aroused several reactions. Renesmee and Jacob's were outraged, Paul was laughing, and Leah was shaking with indigation. My cousin, Quil, buried his smile in the hair of his fiancee. Claire pursed her lips, a little ashamed of Emily. Levi pressed his face to the back of my head. He was shaking, though with what, I couldn't imagine.

"I- I would never!" said Leah. She didn't raise her voice, but it felt like she was shouting.

"Emily, I, I don't, I don't take care of Nessie when she's pregnant just because of the child!" stuttered Leah.

Emily looked like she was trying to amend what she had said. "No, I meant that you love Nessie's children beyond comprehension."

"But not because I can't have any. I love Eph and Sarz because of who they are. And besides, how could I not?" continued Leah. "They are like my niece and nephew, Em."

"I know. You really do love them, Ley. I never doubted that," agreed Emily.

Sam decided to take action and said, "Paul, take that insipid smile off your face. Renesmee's still mad at you, remember?"

"Ley-Ley! Seth! Embry! Quil! Sam! Emily! Aunt Rachel! Uncle Paul! Levi! Mama! Daddy! Claire! Kim!" called a girl. I turned and looked towards the house along with everyone else. A gorgeous girl of about eight stood on the deck. She had skin about two shades lighter than russet, blackish bronzish hair, and bright, intense, perfectly shaped, green eyes. She was slim and of average height. She looked not like Renesmee or Jacob, but like a combination of Rachel and some other person in Renesmee's face I couldn't place.

Smiles broke out on everyone's faces.

"Sarz!" called Levi. Renesmee could not tear her eyes away from her daughter, smiling like an angel.

"Hi Levi! Hi, Levi's imprint! Hi, everyone!" I was shocked. Levi smiled widely as his lips met the top of my head.

"A second grader," I said, "knows the secret?"

Claire, who had been giving Sarah a hi-five, looked at me. Her brown curls framed her russet-colored face perfectly. "I knew in first," she said quietly.

My brow crumpled in confusion. "Um, why?"

Most everyone rolled their eyes, save for Emily. She shook her finger at everyone who did, and then said, "Quil imprinted on Claire when she was two."

My mouth fell open in an "o".

How much more could I be embarrassed?


	4. Poor Paul, the Punching Bag!

**Hi! I'm Stephanie Meyer! And instead of spending my free time doing something productive like, for instance, writing another book, I'm spending it here, writing pointless fanfictions!**

**.........If only! The things I would do.......XD  
**

Emily shot me a sympathetic look. "All of you, be quiet. I'm sure you all remember how embarrassing it was when you first joined the pack?"

Paul looked at her condescendingly.

"And you older guys, you seriously should know better!" This came from Renesmee. I have to say, I was a little shocked.

"Mama, can I stay up?" asked Sarah, her puppy-dog face perfect, but apparently her mother was used to it.

"I would love for you to stay up, sweetie," Sarah's face lifted, "but I can't trust Paul to not curse or mention things I would rather you not hear, Sarz. I'm sorry." The girl's face fell.

"Hi, Emmett," Leah muttered. Several people tittered.

Renesmee suddenly turned to her in-law and glared at him angrily. "Yeah, with innuendos and everything."

Rachel raised her eyebrows at her husband.

"Mama!" said Sarah, returning our attention to her.

"Oh, yes, sweetie. Who do you want to take you to bed?" Renesmee asked, immediately offering everybody's services without their permission. But then again, who would complain?

"Levi. I haven't seen him in forever!" exclaimed the girl. I internally moaned, as a reflex.

Paul tittered.

Renesmee was at his throat in a second. "Paul! Stop making embarrassing subtle innuendos about your own son or I will break your ribs!" Paul opened his mouth, and Renesmee punched him in the gut, adding a kick to his knee for good measure. To my surprise, there was a tear at the corner of her eye. Jacob got up and pulled her into his arms, glaring at Paul over the top of his wife's head.

Leah snarled.

Jacob continued to glare at Paul, hugging the now sobbing Renesmee to his chest. Paul was wincing, but he kept eye contact with his brother-in-law.

Renesmee's cell phone rang. Leah picked it up and answered it. "Hey, Bella. Well, Nessie punched Paul in the gut and kicked him in the knee. Would Esme do that to Emmett if he didn't deserve it? That's what I thought. Erm, well, he didn't say it, but he was going to. 'Paul! Stop it or I will break your ribs!'- you're not an idiot, Bella. Oh, yes of course." At the end of her end of the phone conversation, Leah put on a sickly sweet fake smile and held out the phone to Paul. "Paaaaaaaaaaaul," she drawled, "Bella wants to speak with you."

Paul's face blanched and Sarah cried out, "Mama!" The woman with a small, but defined, bump on her torso kissed the girl on her forehead and put her arms around her. She whispered something in the second-grader's ear and Sarah nodded.

Paul's hand met Leah's for the phone. Even I could hear the man yelling on the other side of the connection, since the circle was dead quiet.

"_It does not matter who you are, dog, but you will not, I repeat, will not, insult my daughter like that! And by the way, I must say, Emmett," _the name was drawn out for sarcastic effect, "_innuendos will never be your claim to fame, especially with my gra-, oh, god, I can't say it!_ _Anyway, Paul, do not even think of anything like that ever, ever again, in your lifetime."_ A different voice took over the line.

"_Paul, if you know what is good for you, you will listen to my husband and you will never, ever, ever think about thinking about saying anything like that in your lifetime. And you will also give Nessie the phone. I won't call you a dog because I'm no hypocite,"_ Leah rolled her eyes and Sam laughed, drowning out the next words of Renesmee's mother, "_.....closest I've ever come to. And I don't understand why I don't hear my daughter's voice, Paul, and if I don't in five seconds, I'm sorry for Rachel."_

The phone was now given to Renesmee. Since before I barely made out the words of Renesmee's parents, I couldn't hear them now, since they obviously weren't yelling at their daughter.

"Mama, Mama, Mama," the grown woman was sobbing into the phone, "I know. Just...Mama! I almost did kill you," Renesmee winced, "and I was painfully aware of it even with the Volturi. Mama! Oh, you're right. May I remind you I'm eighteen, only, Mama? Ok, I see your point. Love you more than Daddy does. Ok, ok, as much as Daddy does. Eckses and Ohs to Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Daddy as well. Jake and the kids send their love. Bye."

Renesmee stayed in Jacob's arms for another second and then drew out, a fearful figure.

**A/N: I'm so sorry! I'm putting off the story, aren't I? It is confusing! I would lurve to stay and explain it all, but I don't have the time considering it's 13 to ten pm as I write this (I hear those snickers!), I'm a young girl, and I have Girl Scouts and a latke (potato pancake) eating contest tomorrow. To top it all off, a bat mitzvah (the coming of age of a Jewish Girl) party. **

**Nessie's story next chap, I promise!**

**Eckses and Ohs to all you faithful readers out there! Review and I will give you.....COOKIES!  
**

T


	5. The Sons of London Priests

**A/N: Okay. Confusing. Sarah is going to bed. Then THE STORY!!!! [insert confetti]. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Is it legal to steal characters?? No wonder Stephenie Meyer made up her own... I only own Sarz, Eph, Levi, Mel, and Annie.  
**

"I'm okay. Just, hold on a second. I'm gonna be fine, sweetie. Annie, let go of the kiddo." The pregnant woman who had kissed Sarah earlier released her from her hug and the girl ran, fast for a second grader, straight to her mom, her arms about Renesmee's waist.

"Levi, could you..." asked Renesmee, eyes tinged red from tears, an ugly sight against her golden brown irises.

"Mel..." Levi said to me. I groaned loudly for the sake of my crowd, but released my hands from his. I eased off his lap, and made a show of dusting off my pants. Paul snickered.

"Paul...." said Jacob, since Renesmee looked to worn out to care, in a strange, echoing voice that reeked of command and power.

"Don't you get all High Alpha on me, kid," Paul retorted.

"Can't I?" asked Jacob, suddenly taking his wife in his arms. Over her head, he looked strangely vulnerable and protective of Renesmee at the same time. I suppose that Renesmee looked vulnerable and protective of Jacob at the same time as well. I wonder if I look like that.

"No, don't get fresh with me," retorted Paul.

Jacob straightened up, his eyes wide with anger, pride, command, and power, his face full of it also.

"Paul, you really don't want to say that, do you?" he said in some strange echoey powerful Alpha-y voice. At least, I assumed that's what it was. Levi, Leah, some other wolf who looked like Leah, but male and younger, Quil, and three other wolves were beside Jacob and Renesmee in a second, their speed frightening. Sam materialized next to Paul, a bunch of other wolves tensing around the circle.

"Jacob, stop it. You don't need to do this," Sam tried to reason.

"He's going to stop. Aren't you Paul?" I was sure that even Sarah knew that Jacob wasn't asking Levi's father anything.

"I- I-" Paul stuttered, apparently impossible to disobey Jacob in all of his high Alpha might, "Yes."

"Paul, go sit next to my sister. You've done enough for one night. Levi, take Sarz," Jacob said, weird echoey powerful Alpha-y voice gone now.

"C'mon, kiddo," said Levi, taking the hand of his cousin. After taking two steps with her, he suddenly swung her up on his back and ran up the steps to the deck, and into the house. I smiled and sat back down on the ground.

"He'll make one great dad one day, Ness," Jacob said. His beloved Renesmee smiled. I gasped because her red eyes were normal now. She saw my reaction and said, "Well, my dad doesn't cry."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I knew that."

"Did you?"

"Uh, not really. I just pretend to know more than I do."

"Oh-kaaay??"

"I thought you had a story to tell."

"I do."

"So start, already."

"If you would let me!"

"I never said I was stopping you!"

"So stop talking!"

"I will!"

Renesmee looked at me pointedly. I nodded, my cheeks bright red.

"I'm waiting for Levi."

"Well, you could have said that!"

"Be nice."

"I am nice!"

"Nice-er!"

I stuck out my tongue. I hadn't realized that everybody was watching my exchange with Renesmee, but now my cheeks flushed red from embarrassment.

"I'm baaaaaaaaack!" yelled Levi from the house. He was standing on the deck, and he somehow took the steps three at a time going down.

"Freaky werewolf anatomy!" I yelled to him as he bounded over easily and pulled me into his lap in one fluid motion.

"Aw, Mels, don't be so mean!" Levi pretend pouted.

"I'm just saying!"

"Mels, don't take everything so LITERALLY! Garsh!" he said.

"Oh," I replied, embarrassed.

"Will you two shut up? I want to begin BEFORE midnigt!" Renesmee yelled to be heard over the chatter that had suddenly erupted.

"Good," she said, "now I'll start."

"Over three and a half hundred years ago, a baby was born in London. His name was Carlisle Cullen. His father was a priest, who hunted vampres, witches, and other creatures of mythology that actually existed, to burn them. As far as the vampires go, anyway. But back to my point. When Carlisle, whose father didn't really love him because he killed his mother at birth," here Jacob, Leah, and the wolf who looked like Leah who was sitting next to the pregnant woman, Annie, sent warning looks straight at Paul. I was getting really frustrated! "was about twenty-ish, I really don't know how old he was, I've never asked because it's rude," my mouth fell open here. Again, Levi reached over me and closed it. "he lead one of the hunts for vampires. Now, these hunts rarely resulted in finding an actual vampire, but this hunt did. The uncivilized London sewer resident had been caught by surprise, and he ended up biting Carlisle. Now, the other men already long gone, Carlisle merely laid on the street and burned in pain. Somehow, through those painful three days, he knew that if he screamed, someone would find him and kill him...." Carlisle's story went on and on, and I stopped letting my mouth fall open every time I was shocked.

"It was 1918, and Carlisle was living in Chicago, working in one of the hospitals there, fighting the epidemic of the Spanish Influenza..."

**A/N: And that's a wrap, people! Wow! That was an interesting chapter! Bit of a cliffie........**


	6. Masens and Evensons

**A/N: Coming up next.....EDWARD!!!! And....Esme!!!  
**

**Disclaimer: BTW, they doesn't belong to me. **

"When he came across a dying mother and her dying son, for the last time, he knew his life was about to change. Carlisle was checking on the teenaged boy," for some reason, when I was almost about to almost start crying, Jacob cracked up. "And his mother said to him, 'Save him. Save my Edward,'" I pursed my lips in a way that said that while I was shocked, I really wasn't surprised. "'do everything in your power'. Carlisle said to her, 'I will.' He had felt her hand and realized that she was about to die. Her green eyes were glassy, but their effect was undiluted. When she said, 'No. What is in your power, not the other doctors', Carlisle suspected that she knew his secret. But after that, it didn't matter. Elizabeth Masen was gone. Her green eyes would never shine on the world again."

I gasped and tears showed at the corners of my eyes.

Leah, obviously meaning to be funny, asked "Did her son have her eyes? Then they will shine on the world again!"

Renesmee smiled. "Yes. He did. Past tense. My point."

Leah nodded and Renesmee continued.

"Edward was hardly breathing at this point. Carlisle was very unsure about this, but he wheeled Edward to the morgue, and bit him in the wrist and in the ankles, trying to recreate the wounds he had recieved over two centuries later. He then stole Edward away from the morgue, and he hid in the house with him. They then left Chicago, after Edward knew everything about his new life. He also discovered his power: the ability to read minds." My mouth fell open. Levi raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, trying not to laugh. He reached around to my face and closed my mouth.

"Um, not meaning to be rude, but he does what?" I blurted out. I then covered my mouth with my hand, cheeks crimson.

"Reads minds. They're like voices. Eddie can close them out if he wants," said Jacob.

Renesmee pursed her lips in an effort not to laugh, but she cracked up anyway, just laughing pretty much out of nowhere.

"It's not funny!" Jacob protested, his cheeks red.

"Damn, Jake, you know it is!" Renesmee said, barely able to get the words out for laughing.

I became really frustrated and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??"

Everyone went silent, until:

"Space heater wars, the space heater wars, the space heater wars," said Renesmee, who was laughing uncontrollably again, Leah, Leah's brother (at least, I think that's who he was), Sam, Emily, Paul, Rachel and quite a few others chorused. Some others cracked up.

"I think your uncle has broken the world record for blushing the brightest red," I said to Levi, meaning to be funny, but Jacob turned in my direction and said, "I've seen brighter."

"Where?" asked Renesmee, giggling. Somehow, I knew she knew the answer.

"Yo' momma!" he said. Even though it really wasn't funny at all, Renesmee couldn't stop laughing.

"Ummm," I said.

"Bells was always a blusher!" said Seth.

"Living with her for eight or so years sure rubs off, huh, Jake?" asked Leah, also enjoying her alpha's embarrassment.

"O-kay, people, I'm going to continue now!" Renesmee managed to declare.

"Hold on just a sec," she added.

We waited, and then Renesmee turned to us.

"The next one to join Carlisle's family of two was Esme. Esme Anne Platt Evenson was also near death when Carlisle found her, at the bottom of a cliff. That was his policy. He didn't want to damn anyone to the life of a vampire if they weren't near death. He didn't want to take away someone's life like that. Esme had jumped off of said cliff because the death of her infant son. Esme had ran away from her home when she found out she was pregnant. Her husband, Charles Evenson, was abusive and raped her. She then ran away for obvious reasons."

Me, ever the emotional, found tears leaking out of my eyes for Esme.

"Carlisle had previously treated Esme for a broken leg when she was sixteen. He remembered her, and then changed her. When she was done changing, they soon fell in love and then married. After that, they moved to Rochester, New York."

**A/N: I just wanted to, well keep less than three people in one chapter. Toodles!!!**

**Eckses and Ohs, Nyki  
**


	7. Edward's Paul and Not Emo Uncles

"I'm not going into details about Rosalie, because her story is the worst, and she hates wolves more than any other of the clan," as a sheepish look crept over her face and Jacob's, Seth laughed. "So I have no permission to tell her story. Basically, her drunk fiancee and his bunch of drunk friends met her on the streets at night, and Carlisle found her dying. Yada yada yada, you know the rest."

Jacob cracked up.

"And now, her adopted niece is married to one of her worst enemies," Seth said with a laugh. Anna was holding Ephraim close against her, cooing gently. He was almost asleep.

"Yup!" said Renesmee cheerfully. "Ohmygod, Anna, remember when I told you I was visiting Forks and La Push with Jake because I had nicked myself really bad when I was shaving my legs??" Anna's pleasant laugh and many others filled the space. Claire threw her head back and her hair got in Quil's face.

"What?" I asked. I was decidely confused.

"Jaz time!" exclaimed Renesmee.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I asked.

"She's not," said Emily bluntly.

"Jasper was a Confederate soldier when he met three gorgeous girls late one night. Maria, the one he liked most, changed him. His power was to change emotions of ones around him.....Ohmygod, I forgot Emmett!"

"Edward's very own Paul!" Anna giggled.

Renesmee smiled.

I screamed in frustration and got off Levi's lap.

"SOMEBODY FINISH TELLING OR SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE!"

Everybody looks at me.

I turn bright red and say, "Now that I've managed to make a complete fool of myself, continue!"

"Let me finish Jasper first, Mel, then I'll finish, and leave the rest for the next cookout in two weeks!"

Everybody groaned, mostly Jacob, Anna and Seth.

"Just kidding, god, I'm not like that! Anyhoo, Jasper always had the worst time controlling his bloodlust, and when I nicked my legs that one time..............ya. I'm not going into detail about my not emo," Paul snorted in a way that said 'Yeah, right!', "uncle because I can't even give the bare facts justice!"


End file.
